Major Challenges

I was just rereading Single and Homeschooling by Terri Brown: http://www.homeeducator.com/FamilyTimes/articles/9-2article15.htm

The biggest challenges about being a single parent and homeschooler, are not having the financial resources, time and energy to do everything we would like to do,” says Hill. “It is very difficult for me, as the sole parent, to be actively involved in all the various activities my kids would like to undertake. Just the physical act of driving them to and fro is exhausting and overwhelming.”

One single parent homeschooler interviewed finds the challenges to be mostly emotional. “I’d say the biggest challenge would be that I don’t have anyone to discuss everything with, no one to work everything out with. No one to boost my confidence when I need it, or bounce ideas off of when I feel stuck.”

I can certainly relate to the physical and emotional challenges discussed here. When I was still married, my wife and I had our schedules arranged so that one of us was always with the kids. She worked evenings and I worked days. We rarely saw each other there toward the end. Then, once she moved out, we planned to attempt to change our kids lives as little as possible by giving them the same basic schedule with each parent. I naively believed this would mean that what they needed from me would not be substantially more than it had been before. As is so often the case these days, I was mistaken. During my time with the kids, their demands on my attention and time were far greater than they had been in the past. There are several reasons why this is the case.

One very important cause for this change is the fact that this is a time of unprecedented fear and stress in their lives. Their worlds have just been turned upside down, and it is natural that they will be more needy. My four year old cries more often now than he did when he was three. My ten year old seems to cry almost as often as the four year old. Quite out of character. The 13 year old magically transformed from a child into a full blown teenager in the space of three months.

Another factor influencing their increased emotional and physical demands on me is they seem to feel they need to maximize their time with me. They always appear to feel that time is running out. They are constantly counting down to the moment their mother will come pick them up with both trepidation and elation. How can they ever truly relax? I desperately hope this is a phenomenon restricted to the early months after a divorce.

Of course, a final issue leading to a serious increase of pressure on dad is the reality of our custody situation, namely, I have a 13 year old in the house full-time. Without another parent around to assist with the emotional and practical implications of raising a teenager... Well, the resulting pressure left on me is pretty intimidating.

The culmination of these factors has encouraged me to start this blog, and to begin a search for resources, both emotional and practical, to aid me in my new endeavor. So, believe me, we'll be talking more about this! Any feedback?